


B-sides

by auroramcchicken



Series: Basketball Season [7]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, M/M, Rare Pairings, Sexual References, Spoilers, last chapter is total crack, nba au, omg i actually wrote het, technically miyumiyu is an oc but she does exist inseries, way too much innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6713110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroramcchicken/pseuds/auroramcchicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything I wanted to cover in the main series, but couldn't.<br/>1. (WakaSaku) Wakamatsu and Sakurai like each other, but neither has the courage to make the first move.<br/>2. (NijiHimu) Nijimura realizes that he's in love with Himuro just a little too late. So when he gets a chance to see Himuro again, he'll do anything to make it right.<br/>3. The Generation of Miracles (and Kagami) are shooting commercials. Too bad they don't really know what they're doing. (NBA AU)<br/>4. (MoriZuki) Moriyama likes to send pickup lines to Izuki. Izuki wants more.<br/>5. Kiyoshi Miyaji helps a girl who's being harassed, but there's more to her than meets the eye...<br/>6. (EXTRA GAME SPOILERS) Aomine and Kagami won't stop fighting over which one of them won the game against Team Jabberwock. Now, Kise and Kuroko must work together to make them stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All About Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wakamatsu and Sakurai like each other, but neither has the courage to make the first move.

It had started as a game, for the most part.

It was simple, really. Aomine seemed like he was interested in Sakurai, so what was the harm with flirting a little? Wakamatsu knew he was the better choice, anyway- Aomine didn't deserve someone as understanding as Sakurai, especially when the poor kid was being used merely as a food dispenser and occasionally a punching bag. He didn't understand how anyone could stand to hurt him. He knew that with just one look in those giant brown eyes, he'd be giving Sakurai anything he asked for.

He could admit it to himself. He was jealous.

It was true even now, while they were eating lunch. Aomine had managed to steal Sakurai's lunch yet again (no wonder he was so skinny) and he looked like he was in the throes of ecstasy. Could Sakurai's lunch really be that good? He himself only had a couple rice balls left, but it didn't seem like Sakurai ate that much, anyway.

"Here. You need to eat." He handed Sakurai a rice ball, trying to pretend it was in the best interest of the team. "We can't win if our shooting guard is malnourished. It's a shame _some people_ can only act in their own self-interest." Definitely one of the most hypocritical things he's ever said, but nobody else needed to know that. Even so, Sakurai managed to stutter out a thank you.

Meanwhile, Imayoshi watched the scene with his usual smile, while Susa looked rather indifferent about the whole thing. Momoi had started yelling at Aomine, telling him to "give back Sakurai's food, you asshole, you eat enough as it is anyway!" Aomine would never listen, but Wakamatsu appreciated her efforts regardless.

* * *

"You were lying earlier." As Wakamatsu was getting ready to go back to the dorms after practice let out, he heard that voice behind him. There was only one person it could belong to.

"Captain? What are you still doing here?"

"I know what you're up to. Going on about Aomine only acting in his own self-interest when you're doing the exact same thing. It makes you look better when you're trying to get into Sakurai's pants, like you aren't just using him to get back at Aomine."

"It's not like that at all! Sakurai deserves better than that asshat!"

"I'm not the one you need to convince here. Sakurai's smarter than he lets on, he's definitely figured out your game by now. Convince him that you're worth it."

"Why are you giving me advice like this?"

"It's more amusing this way." Imayoshi was gone before Wakamatsu could ask what that meant.

* * *

Sakurai knew that Wakamatsu wouldn't catch onto his plan, but he was genuinely surprised that Imayoshi hadn't. He knew that he'd asked Momoi to introduce him to Kise and Takao, knowing they were the best option to teach him how to flirt. Kise's natural charm and Takao having dealt with a similar situation meant they would know just what to do.

However, they failed to take into account Sakurai's naturally timid personality, meaning Wakamatsu would immediately notice something different if he ever tried any of them. (Sakurai knew he could never call him "Kou-chan," or "accidentally" sit in his lap at lunch. It was simply impossible for him.)

"Has he done anything nice for you?"

"He always stops Aomine from stealing my lunches. At first I thought he was doing it to get back at Aomine, but lately he's been blushing as he's been doing it. There have been times when he's given me some of his own lunch after that, too."

"So he definitely likes you. That's a good sign. But I'm going to have a serious talk with Aominecchi. I'll give you my number, and let me know if he bothers you again. He will be paying for it, believe me."

"Oh, the whole withholding sex thing again? How many times have you had to do that?"

"I lost count after ten, I think. How could he pick on someone so cute? How is this guy not eating out of the palm of your hand yet?"

Sakurai was still amazed that Kise and Takao could talk about sex so casually. Had they done it before? From the way it sounded, Aomine and Kise were having it pretty frequently, and Takao was with Midorima. He thought someone like Midorima seemed too fussy and proper for sex, but what did he know?

This left Sakurai with another question. If he and Wakamatsu got into a relationship, would they have sex, too? He hadn't pictured it before, but once he'd visualized Wakamatsu on top of him, taking what he wanted, he couldn't stop.

"Anyway, you're a really good cook, aren't you, Sakurai? You can use that. Find out what his favorite food is, and make it for him. It's really shojo manga, but it's effective. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, after all."

"One time, I made some honey soaked lemons for the team, and he ate all of them. Mostly so that Aomine couldn't have any, but I like to think that he couldn't resist them."

"If you can't ask him directly, you can ask Momocchi. She knows all that stuff. Depending on what it is, you could either make him a lunch, or you might have to invite him over to cook it. That might be better, actually, since then you'd be alone. If I know what day you do it, I'll keep Aominecchi away."

Was this what having friends felt like? Sakurai had never really had friends before, but if he had, he was sure it would feel as good as this.

"No matter what you do, you have to let us know how it goes!"

"Of course!"

* * *

Now that it was time for Sakurai to actually ask Wakamatsu what his favorite food was, he found himself freezing up. _I've talked to him normally before, what's going on?_

Meanwhile, Wakamatsu was panicking internally. Sakurai asked to talk to me, but he hasn't said anything. He's just been standing there, staring at his feet! Is he afraid of me? I don't want that!

"Wha-Wha-Wha-What's your favorite food?" There, I said it. This probably looks like he's trying to steal my lunch money or something.

"Probably yakisoba, if I had to pick one. Why?"

"Hmm, yakisoba's pretty easy to make. If you come over this weekend, I can make some."

"What about me, Ryo? My favorite food is teriyaki burger."

"I don't remember anyone asking you." _Ha ha, Sakurai wants to cook for me and not you. Suck it! Sure, the yakisoba will probably be heavenly, but the prospect of being alone with him is better than any food, really._

Aomine scoffed. "Whatever, it's cool. I could probably go see Kise, anyway. Getting laid is better than food."

"I can't believe anyone could possibly want you to fuck them. Sakurai's food is better than any cheap lay."

"Wakamatsu, I don't think that's fair. Kise is actually really nice, please don't talk about him like that."

"Okay, but I still don't think you need to say those things about Sakurai, either. And to answer your question, yes, I would love to come over. Is Friday after practice okay?"

"Yes, I can get the ingredients by then."

"I'll look forward to it."

* * *

By the time Friday came around, Sakurai was beginning to regret his decision. _What if he doesn't really like me? Does he just want free food? Why would he want a nervous wreck like me? He's not like that at all._

Wakamatsu, however, would disagree with that statement. _I'm so screwed. I'm going to mess up and probably scare him by accident and he'll never want to see me again. I'll never forgive myself if he cries because of me. And if I do succeed with this? Nobody will be able to look at us without thinking of Beauty and the Beast!_

Imayoshi, as usual, knew everything. Even though he hadn't been there for Sakurai asking Wakamatsu over in the first place, he seemed to mention the word date too much for a basketball practice.

Eventually, Wakamatsu and Sakurai managed to make their way to Sakurai's house, albeit silently. Neither of them could work up the courage to say anything due to their respective fears.

Before this, Imayoshi had asked Wakamatsu to stay a little late. He'd claimed it was for paperwork, but in hindsight, Wakamatsu knew he should've known better.

"So. You're making your move, huh? I didn't think it would take this long."

"Hardly. He's the one who invited me over!"

"See, I told you he knew what you were after. But since he's doing this, that means he's fine with it. Fine with being used as a pawn in your revenge plot against Aomine."

"It's not like that. I can't deny that it might've been at first, but it's not like that now. He's too good for any of us, but Aomine's not even good enough to lick the soles of his shoes."

"And you're saying you are?"

"No, but I'm better than Aomine, at least."

"That's fair. You don't steal anybody's lunches." After a moment, "You don't get it, do you? I'm saying you've proven yourself to me. I'm not the one you need to worry about anymore."

* * *

"Wakamatsu, we're here." Wakamatsu had nearly walked past the door to Sakurai's apartment building. "You've been here before, I don't know why you're lost now," he said, even if it ended up being mostly to himself. They went up to the third floor before stopping at a door with a nameplate that read "Sakurai." Wakamatsu wasn't too surprised to see a completely average apartment, although there was one thing missing that he had imagined a few times, after having watched a scene from Snow White on the TV at the store.

"Where are the animals?"

"Sorry?"

"I thought there would be animals."

"This building doesn't allow pets." _How crazy or high would I have to be to actually think that Sakurai would have woodland creatures helping him clean?_ "Anyway, you can sit there-" he pointed to the dinner table, "and it should be ready in about 15 minutes."

Wakamatsu had intended to get some homework done while he waited, but the way Sakurai stirred the noodles proved too irresistible for him to resist. _I could watch this every day,_ he thought, not caring about the implications. _I didn't think I could get this weak over something like this. So it's true after all. I could do just about anything for him._

Sakurai walked over carrying two plates and two sets of chopsticks. Wakamatsu had been distracted before, but now he could smell the yakisoba, and it was a divine experience, to the point where he almost hadn't noticed that Sakurai had started talking.

"Remember when we got yakisoba at the festival? I swear, Imayoshi had more mayonnaise on it than noodles."

"I could swear on my life that I've seen him put it in coffee, too. I wonder how Hanamiya feels about it." He laughed. "Maybe why that's why he looks so pissy all the time." A moment passed before Wakamatsu remembered something he'd wanted to ask. "I heard you've been talking to Kise lately. How did that happen?"

"Well…" Sakurai began to fidget. _How can I say it without giving my whole plan away?_

_Fuck my life._ "It's fine if you don't want to tell me. I'll understand."

"He was giving me some advice. Takao from Shutoku was there, too. I asked Momoi to introduce me. They're the ones who gave me this idea in the first place."

"What idea?" This was all Wakamatsu could say when Sakurai was gazing up at him with those eyes and that smile.

"I know I'm not much to look at, and there's nothing good about me, but I wanted to impress you." Wakamatsu felt his anger rising at this, at the thought that Sakurai could possibly see himself this negatively.

"There's nothing good about you, huh? There's nothing good about the guy who's constantly being picked on by that idiot Aomine, but has the strength to return because he loves basketball? There's nothing good about the guy who's obviously terrified of both his teammates and the opposition, but takes it on anyway? I think there's a lot of good things about that guy. I think that guy's far too good to want to impress some ugly loudmouth with anger issues. If I hurt you, I'd never forgive myself. And that's without going into your looks. You're always cute, but that other side that comes out during games is seriously sexy."

Sakurai felt the tears welling up in his eyes. "These are seriously the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. But there's one thing wrong. If I can't be down on myself, you can't be, either. You aren't ugly. You're like the delinquent in a manga that secretly stands up for little kids and pets stray animals."

"Well, get used to it. You'll be hearing them a lot more from now on. I'll come up with new ones, too. I don't want you to get bored of me."

And then Sakurai did something amazing, at least in Wakamatsu's eyes- he laughed. "I don't think that's possible." Wakamatsu found himself leaning toward Sakurai's adorable face, now devoid of any tears, and somehow, Sakurai was returning the gesture.

"You're sure you want this?"

"If we don't do this right now, I'm kicking you out."

Just as Wakamatsu was about to close the final distance…

He felt his hand land in something that felt like cold noodles.

_Shit, the yakisoba! I got so distracted, I never actually ate it!_ It was a little upsetting to know he had forgotten about the initial reason for his visit, but there was something far better happening now. He wasn't the type to hold off on kissing Sakurai because he'd stuck his hand in yakisoba. However, he knew the mood had been ruined when he heard Sakurai laughing again.

Kiss or not, one thing was for certain. Wakamatsu knew he could never let Sakurai go.

* * *

A week later, Wakamatsu had another question for Sakurai.

"So, did Takao ever give you any advice?" He didn't know him very well, but he had seen Midorima turn bright red after Takao whispered something in his ear, so he could only imagine what kind of advice he would give. Come to think of it, it was a similar shade to the one Sakurai was turning at that moment…

"I… I don't think I can say it out loud. It's not something I'd be able to get away with. I wouldn't be able to handle it."

_What could that possibly mean? How dirty are we talking here?_ But before he could ask out loud, Sakurai started talking again.

"I don't think I could sit in your lap in front of people or anything like that." _I'm the one who wouldn't be able to handle it._ "I definitely couldn't handle using the nickname he told me to call you." _What the hell kind of nickname is it if even saying it is too much?_ "I don't know if you could either, K-K-Kou-chan."

It took both Sakurai and Susa to get Wakamatsu to the nurse's office.


	2. Electric Chapel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nijimura realizes that he's in love with Himuro just a little too late. So when he gets a chance to see Himuro again, he'll do anything to make it right.

Prologue: Rainbow

Returning to the place you grew up after having been away for a long time is always a strange experience, Shuzo Nijimura thought. His grandparents had asked him and his younger siblings to visit over winter break (even if he still failed to see how Los Angeles' colder season could qualify as winter) and they had agreed. He had only one wish for his first visit to Japan in a year and a half.

_Please don't let me run into those Teiko freaks. I can't even imagine how bad they are after Akashi started running their circus. But the Winter Cup will be happening while I'm there, and I don't think it'd kill me to watch the finals, at least. He should be there, too. I hope he is. It'd be good to see Tatsuya again._

Nijimura could kick himself for not realizing he was in love with Tatsuya until after he went back to Japan. After that, it seemed like every other week, Tatsuya was dating someone else. It was a roughly even split between males and females, but either way, he'd still feel the burning ember of jealousy in his stomach. He wanted to be the only one dating him, even if they lived thousands of miles apart. Maybe they could go to college together.

_Isn't that a little crazy, making college plans revolving around someone who doesn't return your feelings? But it could be said that the real crazy part is how I ended up meeting that guy in the first place. Everything else is just extra._

The first few days had Nijimura readjusting himself to Japanese time, almost a full day ahead of the western United States. Annoyingly, his younger siblings seemed to be jet lag proof, forcing him to go to all of their old spots when they'd normally be sleeping.

As it stood, he was only able to get away long enough to see the last day, with the final four facing off. First was Midorima's team, facing off against some other team- oh, there's Kise on the bench. Both teams played well, but without Kise, that other team wouldn't prevail. Overall, rather standard fare.

The second match was more interesting. Akashi being in the final was no shocker, but he had expected Aomine or Murasakibara to be on the other team. _That is definitely the light blue hair, not the dark._ Kuroko was on the opposing team, along with that guy he was apparently dating- the big one with the red hair who was friends with Tatsuya on Facebook.

Probably the most unexpected part of the whole thing was that Kuroko and that guy had won. Kuroko worked better with him than he had with Aomine.

_Now to find Tatsuya and say what I need to before I run into anyone from-_

"Nijimura? What are you doing here?"

_-Teiko._

* * *

One: Black

_How exactly did I just happen to run into the winning team of the Winter Cup? Knowing Kuroko, it has to be on purpose, but still, it shouldn't be this easy. But I won't complain. If I have to meet anyone, it's best to start with the most inoffensive one first._

"Kuroko. Good to see you're handling yourself well."

"Why don't you have a tan?"

"Excuse me?"

"I thought everyone got spray tans in LA. Or maybe that was just Kagami."

"Hey! My tan's natural!"

"Do you know Himuro Tatsuya?"

"Yeah, he's a childhood friend of mine."

"Do you know where he is right now? I'm looking for him."

"I'm sure he's still in the stands somewhere, picking up after that lazy purple menace-"

"He's with Atsushi?"

"Yeah, they go to the same school."

"That'll make it a lot easier, thanks!"

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" An average height guy in glasses looked annoyed. Based on his number, Nijimura could only assume he was the captain.

"Okay, sure. Guys, this is Nijimura Shuzo, my old captain at Teiko. This is Hyuga Junpei, Izuki Shun, and Kiyoshi Teppei."

"This guy went to Teiko? There's not nearly enough psychosis present for that."

"The man from Teiko couldn't take-o our victory!" Nearly everyone on the team groaned, with the captain seeming ready to rip every hair out of his head individually.

"I'm glad Kuroko had at least one normal person around."

"It's good to see that he's being taken care of."

There wasn't time for these kinds of pleasantries now, but he'd be damned if his Japanese upbringing would be lost after a year in America! Apparently, all he needed to do was find Murasakibara, and he'd find Tatsuya, as well. But where to look next?

"Huh? What's Nijimura doing here?"

He'd know that voice anywhere.

* * *

Two: Blue (and Pink)

Daiki Aomine stood, all 76 inches of him looking like he was simply waiting to be praised.

"Hey, brat. I see you didn't make the final four."

"Nah. This isn't really my scene."

"Don't lie, Daiki! We lost to Seirin, and you know it!"

"Good to see you, Momoi."

"It's nice to see you too, Nijimura. Is your father doing well?"

"Yeah, he's hanging in there. Which one of you is the captain?"

"He is." The tall blond pointed to the guy who squinted, even though he wore glasses. He looked like someone who should never be crossed.

"What? Me? I'm not captain anymore, Wakamatsu. I made you captain, remember?"

"Do you know how to keep this idiot in line?"

"I've mostly followed the advice Momoi has given me- threatening to burn his photo books, both Mai Horikita and Ryota Kise varieties, using his weaknesses to my advantage, things like that."

"Tell him you'll put bees in his locker if he doesn't come to practice. He hates them. He almost cried when one got into the gym during practice."

"So what? I took out Haizaki. That idiot didn't even know it was coming."

"Haizaki was here?"

"Yeah. His team played against Kise's in the final eight. Kise won, Haizaki was pissed, and he was going to attack Kise, but I stopped him. No one's seen him since, so hopefully he went back to Shizuoka where his school is. Apparently he beat up Kagami's sexy basketball teacher and that mole guy from Yosen too, I don't remember his name."

"Himuro Tatsuya."

"Yeah, that's the one. Do you know him?"

"We met in America. He's the one I'm looking for right now. I met the sexy basketball teacher, too. Anyway, good job on protecting your boyfriend."

"How did you know that? Please don't tell him about that. I don't want him to know that Haizaki was going to come after him unless it happens again."

"You know we are friends on Facebook, right? I see everything Kise posts about you. 'Oh, I have another date with Aominecchi!' He posts pictures all the time. How could I not know?"

"We meet again, Shuzo." Can't anyone from Teiko just address people normally, from the front?

* * *

Three: Red

"What did you just call me? Respect your elders, you brat. And address people from the front. We talked about this." It was then that he noticed that one of Akashi's eyes was gold, rather than the red it was supposed to be. "You aren't Akashi, are you?"

"Of course I'm Akashi. Who else would I be?"

"The Akashi I know would have addressed me properly like an underclassman should."

"Former underclassman."

"Sei-chan, where'd you go? Coach wants us to go over the game- who's this? He's cute."

Nijimura watched as Akashi's eye changed from gold back to red. "Mibuchi, this is my former captain, Nijimura. He lives in Los Angeles, but right now, he came to see us. Isn't that right?"

"Y-Yes, of course. You all played wonderfully. It's no surprise that you went to a school with three of the Uncrowned Kings, but I admit I was a little shocked when I saw that you were the captain." He didn't really want to talk to Akashi, even less than he wanted to talk to everyone else at Teiko.

"Anyway, I was really surprised to see that Murasakibara that you said you'd dated. I never would've guessed he'd be your type- someone over a foot taller than you, with that untidy hair and the candy. I was expecting someone more like Kuroko and Mayuzumi, to be honest." Mibuchi had made eye contact with Nijimura and nodded, making it clear that this would be a good time to make an exit.

"There's something I still need to do here, so I'll be going now. It's been good to see you again." Oddly enough, he found himself meaning it. Akashi had the potential to rebuild his life and do whatever he wanted with it. Whatever it was, he felt it would be the right choice.

He had made the mistake of looking back, however. As Mibuchi rambled on, he saw Akashi's eye change for a split second before it went back to red.

That guy would have to go first.

* * *

Four: Yellow

Nijimura had begun regretting his decision to even go to the game around this point, given the crazy personalities he had encountered thus far. There couldn't possibly be any more surprises-

"Nijimura! It's been so long!"

He really needed to learn how to stop tempting fate.

"Dammit, Kise! Stop calling out to everybody!"

"But Kasamatsu, this was my captain back at Teiko! Before Akashi, I mean."

"I don't know, this guy looks too normal. Glad to see someone in that asylum had any common sense."

"Kurokocchi has plenty of common sense!"

"Then why doesn't his hair color match the color kanji in his name? For that matter, why doesn't yours? I mean, I'm sure you're glad you don't have rainbow hair, but this is the type of thing that keeps me up at night."

"Stop that! You're going to go bald if you keep this up." That wouldn't be the reason why, but leave it to Kise to be oblivious about his own part in the situation. "Anyway, it's really weird that Haizaki isn't around, not that anyone cares either way. Have you heard anything about that?"

 _Don't say it. Don't say that Aomine beat him up or that he cried all the way back to Shizuoka like a little bitch._ "I hear that Aomine knows something. I'd ask him." _That's what he gets for trying to hide things like that. Either they'll break up or he'll get a thank you blowjob._

"Really? Thanks!"

"It's nothing. Congrats on beating him."

* * *

Five: Green

He wasn't even surprised when he found Midorima and that guy he was always with near a vending machine.

"Shin-chan, they're out of the red bean soup. Pick something else. It's surprising that anyone else would drink that shi- wonderful beverage, but apparently they do." Apparently, his laughter gave him away, because that guy turned back to Midorima and said, "Do you know that guy? He's just standing there, laughing at us, and it's kind of weirding me out."

"Yeah, he used to be my captain. Nijimura, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in California."

"My grandparents wanted to make sure I haven't forgotten how to be Japanese. I think they thought I'd come back and not know how to read kanji anymore or something. Anyway, enough about me. Isn't that your boyfriend? He sure has a cute name for you. I never thought you'd find anyone who'd put up with you, but I guess miracles are real, after all."

"Sure am! I'm Takao Kazunari, Shin-chan's boyfriend! He acts all prickly, but he's a teddy bear deep down!"

"That's enough nonsense, Takao. Nijimura doesn't want to hear about this."

"Sure he does. He's laughing his ass off again. Well, whatever, he's leaving anyway. Maybe one of the other vending machines will have red bean soup."

* * *

Six: Purple

It was a stupid idea, really, coming to a super crowded basketball game to find the person you were in love with, in the hopes of getting a date. Not that a relationship would be possible, anyway, with him in Akita and you in America, and he was so beautiful and mysterious and he would never like plain old you.

And besides, for being about the easiest person in the world to spot, it was almost impossible to spot-

"Hey, Murochin, I'm going into the store, alright?"

Murasakibara. Talking to-

"Make it quick, Atsushi. We have to go back to the hotel."

Tatsuya. How exactly did he manage to get even more beautiful in the few months since they'd last seen each other? He was right across the street from his goal, and yet it seemed like literally every person in Tokyo with a car had suddenly decided to drive on this street right now, keeping him from his target and most likely laughing at his expense.

Finally, he managed to find an opening to cross the street just as Tatsuya was starting to look restless outside the candy store.

"Hi, Tatsuya."

* * *

Epilogue: Ice

_I need a cool line, one that'll make him want to be with me despite everything._

And then, before he could stop himself, "You look beautiful." _Good one, Shuzo,_ he thought sarcastically.

"Don't hear that one too often. Mostly it's 'Kya! Himuro-san, you look so hot!' with girls. With guys, they're more straightforward, so it's more along the lines of 'Hey, wanna fuck?' I don't even like dating around that much. I just do it to forget about… things."

 _There's no way this conversation could be going in the direction I hope it's going._ Cautiously, he asked, "What kind of things?"

"Well, there's this guy I met in America that I really like. He has a serious personality, and he's kind of hot blooded, but he has a caring side to him, too. He doesn't really think much of himself, but he really is great. His last name means 'rainbow gathering,' but I mostly just call him Shuu."

"Oh, really? I hear that he likes this guy who acts all cool and mysterious, but with a dark side, too. He's the whole package- intelligent, beautiful, doesn't take bullshit, killer basketball player. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Tatsuya smiled, but it still seemed sad. "It's not like any of it matters when one of them lives in Japan and the other lives in America."

"I'll probably come back to Japan for college. I don't know if I'll ever get attached to America. I mean, unless you want to come back to America. I wouldn't blame you, since you have spent the majority of your life there. I admit, I'd probably go along with whatever you decided to do."

Tatsuya laughed, looking more genuine than before. "You haven't changed since the first time we met. However, if you had a really strong preference, you might be able to bend me to your will." Tatsuya had started touching his arms and his chest, and the sexual undertones were not lost on him. "Come back to the hotel with me. I'll show you something really good."

Nijimura felt himself freeze in place. Tatsuya wanted to… with him? He knew it would be difficult, but he had to refuse. He knew Tatsuya had probably had sex before, and it upset him to think that Tatsuya could believe that all Shuzo wanted out of him was a fuck. When he was worth so much more than that…

"Can't we just talk, like we did the first time we met? I mean, we can't stay out here all night, and you'll probably get in trouble if you don't go back. Anyway, won't you get in trouble if you bring me?"

"Probably not. Araki doesn't really care. Atsushi's brought Akashi over a few times, and she never said anything. I'm pretty sure she'll just watch TV and eat ice cream in her room tonight. But I have to say, this is the first time anyone's ever said no to sex with me."

"We have plenty of time to have sex. We found each other twice now, it can happen again. Tonight, I just want to talk… and kiss. We can kiss, too."

"We can start right now." But, just as their lips were an inch apart, a voice loomed over their heads.

"Huh? Nijichin, what are you doing with Murochin?"

"Shuu and I are…" He nodded to Nijimura quickly, cueing him into the conversation.

"We're going back to the hotel together. Hope that's alright."

"Araki won't care. We all stayed out all night one time and she never said anything. She mostly pretends to be asleep when Minechin's and Kisechin's coaches come to see her."

Nijimura had no idea how to respond to this, but luckily, Tatsuya saved him. "Isn't curfew coming up soon? We really do need to get going."

To this day, Nijimura was still amazed that a chance encounter like theirs could become something as wonderful as this. As Himuro placed his arm around his shoulders, he knew there was nobody else he could be with, no matter what country they lived in.


	3. Sandwiches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Generation of Miracles (and Kagami) are shooting commercials. Too bad they don't really know what they're doing.

Daiki Aomine didn't understand the point of this stupid commercial.

He knew it was for some phone carrier, B-Mobile or something? Whatever. They had some kind of exclusive behind the scenes peeks at the Knicks, but that didn't explain why he had to make a fucking sandwich.

"Why am I doing this again?"

"You're advertising the behind the scenes look at the Knicks on G-Mobile. It's a joke, 'Oh, it's so behind the scenes that they're in Daiki Aomine's apartment, watching him make a sandwich.' It's funny, and it'll be memorable."

"Fucking stupid is what it is," he mumbled.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"No."

"That's what I thought."

They'd started filming, and he'd just put the mayonnaise on the bread when the apartment's other resident walked into the kitchen. Ryota Kise was barely awake, having come in late after a party the previous evening. Dressed only in his boxers and hungover, it could be said that he looked like hell.

"Morning, Aominecchi- what is a camera crew doing here?"

"I told you we were filming a commercial here today, Ryota. It's not my fault if you don't listen."

"But Aominecchi, I don't have my makeup on."

"Not like it'd help, with that hangover. And why do you keep calling me Aominecchi, anyway?"

Unbeknownst to them, the camera crew were still present, having recorded the entire conversation.

* * *

Ryota Kise was having flashbacks while filming his latest commercial.

It was just like when he used to model as a teenager. Come to think of it, he only really stopped to go to college, hadn't he? But it was different now, since he'd never been asked to make a sandwich while the camera crew filmed it.

Everything had been going great until his stupid boyfriend decided to crash the shoot.

"Hey, Ryota, what are you doing up so early? Come back to bed and I'll show the star of the LA Lakers a good time." Aomine decided it would be appropriate to walk into the frame, picking his nose with his right index finger, with his left hand scratching inside his boxers. "I'll show you why they call me the long dick of the law," he whispered into Kise's ear.

"You got that from Superbad, Aominecchi. Nobody calls you that besides you, I bet."

"Excuse me-"

"Matsuoka said it was big."

"Ryota-"

"Why do you keep comparing dick sizes with everyone you patrol with?"

"This is so-"

"I have to make sure mine's the biggest. And it will be if I don't compare with Yamazaki, at least that's what Matsuoka said. But he's on desk duty now, so I don't have to worry about him."

Meanwhile, the camera crew had no idea what to do. None of this was appropriate for television. Even if they tried to stop it, they were just ignored, so what was the point? They might as well just go, they thought. Luckily for them, the stupid couple didn't even notice.

* * *

Bonus: (can go after Kise or Aomine's stories)

"Shit! I forgot my lens cap!"

"Well, we haven't left the property yet. Go grab it quick."

Junior photographer Alex Barnes didn't know what he'd done to deserve this. He'd knocked on the door a few times, but there had been no answer. He was just about to open the door when-

"More, Daiki!"

Lens caps weren't that expensive, right?

* * *

Taiga Kagami knew it was his time to shine. He'd been approached by a major phone carrier (Z-Mobile? Maybe?) and they'd asked him to make them a sandwich. The idea was to show off their behind the scenes look at the Chicago Bulls, but little did they know, they'd be getting so much more than that.

"Taiga, this isn't a Subway commercial. The sandwich doesn't need to be that elaborate." _Or that big,_ the director thought. Kagami was known by the fans as a big-eating loudmouth, but one who had quickly proven his worth on the team.

"This is what I normally eat, though," he said, confused.

"Should we have gotten a party sub instead?" The cameraman snarked.

Over the next several weeks after the commercial aired, it was the subject of heated debate.

"Have you seen that commercial with Taiga Kagami? There's a ghost in it!"

"There's no way! You're so lying!"

"No I'm not! He cuts off a piece of the sandwich and eats it! Kagami even ruffles his hair!"

Eventually, the "ghost" was revealed to simply be one Tetsuya Kuroko, kindergarten teacher at Williams Elementary School in Chicago and Taiga Kagami's longtime boyfriend. When asked why he had never mentioned a boyfriend, his only response was, "Nobody ever asked."

* * *

Shintaro Midorima couldn't cook. He knew this, and yet he accepted the offer to make a sandwich for a commercial. It couldn't be that hard, right?

It was about this time when he started to wonder how the Boston Celtics had accepted such a failure onto their team. Even if he'd said it was only for a few years while on the waiting list for Harvard Medical School, going pro hadn't been the worst thing he'd ever done. He was starting to think that dubious honor was going to dating the black haired man who was serving as a laugh track. He was supposed to be teaching high schoolers, not acting like them.

"Oh my God, Shin-chan! You suck!" In truth, Midorima's only real failure was putting a little too much mayo on the bread, causing the lettuce and tomato to fall out of the sandwich, but Takao had just finished grading 300 essays in 18 hours, and he could feel himself turning into a hyena. He was about to take out his phone and record the hilarity, only to be reminded that this would be on television (and therefore, YouTube) in a few months, so he could watch it as many times as he wanted. Hopefully they wouldn't cut his part out. He knew some of his students admired Midorima, and how cool would they think he was if they realized he was living with (and sleeping with, and dating) their favorite basketball player? Hopefully at least cool enough to get them to stop pronouncing his name as "Mr. Taco."

* * *

Atsushi Murasakibara just didn't get it.

He didn't want to make a stupid sandwich.

"Um, excuse me, Atsushi? What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna make a cake instead."

"You can't, Atsushi. We only have so long to shoot this, and I doubt we can edit this down into 30 seconds."

"I'm gonna make a cake." It was that tenacity and willingness to do something different that had endeared the people of Dallas to Murasakibara. A culinary school graduate, he was one of the last people anyone would ever expect to become an NBA player, but he had a way of doing things people wouldn't expect. He liked Dallas, but it was too hot for him most of the time. He never thought he'd ever think this, but he'd started to miss the Akita summers.

"I'm sorry, Atsushi, but it's just not feasible. You can't-"

"What can't Atsushi do?"

 _I'd almost forgotten about_ him.

Seijuro Akashi had taken the opportunity to relocate to America, deciding to start an American branch of his company. _As if it wasn't bad enough that I had to deal with Murasakibara, now I have to deal with this rich guy throwing his weight around. If I let him bake the cake, will Akashi leave?_

"Alright, make the cake."

* * *

"Sir, Seijuro needs to make the sandwiches himself. That's kind of the point of the commercial."

"But this is normal for me. Atsushi is the five-star chef, he's the one who cooks. It's either him or the maids."

Why did the Miami Heat attract so many head cases? Even for Florida, the team was filled with strange guys, but their star, the shortest player in the entire NBA, had them all beat. Maybe it was a side effect of growing up rich, or a contrast with a majority of the team, who had grown up poor, but he felt no need to do basic tasks by himself. He had a team of maids at home, and his ultra-chef boyfriend to cook his food.

Not that Akashi didn't have his own sympathetic backstory. Father kicks him out for being gay, uses his smarts to win a full scholarship to Yale, ends up in the NBA draft and signed to Miami. His boyfriend comes over from Japan and uses his culinary training to open a Japanese restaurant that became very popular, especially with Heat fans. Everyone expects Akashi to have a tiny boyfriend, but are shocked when they learn he's almost seven feet tall.

"Which is it going to be? We're wasting valuable time here."

"It's supposed to be you-" the director started, but Akashi either didn't hear it or decided to ignore it.

"Atsushi it is then. Atsushi, please make me a sandwich." _Well, at least he says please to his boyfriend,_ the director thought.

"Yes, Sei-chin."


	4. I Want Candy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moriyama likes to send pickup lines to Izuki. Izuki wants more.

_I've got it bad for the guy with the bad pickup lines._

That was the thought going through Shun Izuki's head as he was getting ready for practice one Thursday afternoon. Yoshitaka Moriyama had just sent him a new line, and he loved it as much as he loved all of the others.

**If you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple.**

**Are you a bag of trash? Because I want to take you out tonight.**

**If I had to rate you from 1-10. I would give you a 9. Because I am the 1 you are missing.**

Izuki knew that their friendship mostly consisted of them critiquing each other's lines and hanging out on weekends, but lately, he's started wanting more. He wanted those lines to be for him, not some faceless girl that would reject them. He wondered if Moriyama knew there was someone who would never reject him, and that that person was closer than he would have ever guessed.

**That's great! She'll love that!**

_Come on, Izuki. I know you're smarter than this. You really haven't noticed yet?_

It's been about five weeks since Yoshitaka Moriyama has dedicated his game to a girl in the stands.

Since then, every game has been for one person, the last person anyone on his team would ever expect.

It'll be really awkward when they play Seirin again and he'll be dedicating his game to the other team's point guard.

_I have it so bad, I even managed to forget that I'm graduating. I can't play Seirin again. Somehow, that just makes it worse._

Suddenly, he had an idea. What if he made it look like just another pickup line? It'd have to be one that requires a response.

**Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?**

About ten minutes had passed since then, and there had been no response.

**So I'm not getting a picture of you, then?**

This time, the response was a lot faster.

**So, that one was actually for me?**

**They all were.**

The picture he received had Izuki in his practice clothes, sweating, but he had an enormous smile on his face, looking better than Moriyama had ever seen him.


	5. Pop Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoshi Miyaji helps a girl who's being harassed, but there's more to her than meets the eye...

She looks like somebody, but he can't decide who.

Kiyoshi Miyaji thought he recognized the girl three rows in front of him in the lecture hall, but he wasn't sure. Her long black hair, her small frame- she couldn't be over 160 centimeters- and even her name- Miyuki Miyamura- was appealing to him, but his heart belonged to another.

Miyu-Miyu was one of the top selling idols in Japan, who was currently on hiatus to study at an undisclosed university in Tokyo. It amazed him that his idol, a goddess unfit to be touched by human hands, could be going to lectures and eating crappy cafeteria food, just like he was. Hopefully some creepy guy wasn't trying to make a pass at her at this very moment.

Speaking of, wasn't that Miyuki being cornered over there? She looked like she was in trouble, so Miyaji did the only thing he could.

"Hey, asshole! What do you think you're doing to that girl? You have ten seconds to get away from her before I come over there and make you!"

"What? We were just-"

"Ten."

"But-"

"Nine."

"Am I not allowed to talk to a girl anymore?"

"Not if you're going to corner her and scare her. Zero."

"How did we get to zero?"

"Ten seconds, not count to ten. Zero." Miyaji began to walk over, mentally preparing himself to throw a punch or two to defend this girl. However, he was bigger than the guy who was harassing Miyuki, and when he saw that he was outsized, he was quick to make his exit.

"Hey, sorry man. I didn't mean to-"

"Why are you apologizing to me? Apologize to her, not me."

"Sorry I, like, tried to hit on you and shit. There, was that good enough?"

"No, but I don't want to see you anymore." The other guy still looked like he thought he didn't do anything wrong, but Miyuki looked she just wanted to forget the whole thing. "If I ever hear about you harassing girls again, I will find you. Are we clear?"

"Yeah, yeah." Now that the guy was gone, Miyaji turned his attention to the girl.

"Hey, are you alright?" She still seemed pretty shaken up, so maybe it was best to leave her for now. But when he turned to leave, a hand reached up to grab him, keeping him there.

"I never said thank you. You're in lecture with me, right? I'm pretty sure I've seen you before. I'm sorry, I went to an all-girls school, so I never really learned how to talk to boys, and-" He held up his hand, and she stopped speaking.

"It's okay. I would have done it for anyone. Do you want me to take you back to your dorm? I'm not doing anything, it wouldn't be a big deal." Not that he wouldn't have done it if he was busy, but he knew she wouldn't accept if she thought she was inconveniencing him.

"Okay. I'm in Shiba." It was only about a block from where they were, and it was just down the street from his own dorm. It felt like no time had passed before they were in front of her dorm. She handed him a piece of paper that she'd been writing on.

"Here, this is for you. Look at it after you get back to your room, okay?"

"Alright. See you Monday."

He never could have imagined what that piece of paper held.

_I saw you had a Miyu-Miyu charm on your bag. Well, you now have the best meeting Miyu-Miyu story out of any fan. But keep it a secret! I don't need everyone finding out what school I'm going to._

Underneath the note, she had signed it (and it looked just like her signature on all her merchandise) and written some numbers. Surely there was no way he had gotten her real phone number! But he tried texting it, and she responded, even singing over the phone as proof.

Under the number, there was one more paragraph that he'd missed.

_PS. You're pretty cute, you know that? And strictly speaking, I'm not an idol anymore, so… let's get some coffee!_


	6. Getting His Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (EXTRA GAME SPOILERS) Aomine and Kagami won't stop fighting over which one of them won the game against Team Jabberwock. Now, Kise and Kuroko must work together to make them stop, or they aren't getting anything tonight. (This is a little more mature than the rest of the stories here, FYI)

Nobody quite knew how to react after Team Vorpal Swords won their match against Team Jabberwock.

Long after the crowd, the members of Team Jabberwock, Kagetora, Riko, Momoi, the Vorpal Swords reserves, Akashi, Murasakibara, and Midorima had all left the court, four people remained. Two of them, Taiga Kagami and Daiki Aomine, were in a heated argument, while the other two, Tetsuya Kuroko and Ryota Kise, could only stare in shocked disbelief.

What were Kagami and Aomine arguing about this time?

“I won the game!”

“No, I did!”

“No, it was me, dipshit. I won.”

“You’re wrong, asshole, I won!”

Kuroko and Kise were getting sick of it. They’d tried to distract their partners numerous times, but none of their attempts had been successful. Even Kuroko asking Kagami to go to Maji Burger had failed, with Kagami saying, “Later, Kuroko, I just have some business to take care of.”

“Why are we dating these idiots?” Kuroko asked.

“Because we love them,” Kise pouted. “Akashicchi and Murasakibaracchi are probably already finished.”

“Um, Kise? Murasakibara just broke his arm, I highly doubt they’re doing that today.”

“If Akashicchi wants something, he’ll get it, no matter what. Even if that something is dick. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’s used to being on top-”

“I did not ask for details, Kise.”

“Ah, why did they have to both score the final basket? We knew they were going to fight- why didn’t we stop them? We’ve both been so busy lately; we haven’t had time to be together. You’re so lucky that you and Kagamicchi see each other so much, I’m kind of jealous.”

Kuroko had no idea what to say to that. The idea that there was something that Kise could be jealous of related to him was mind blowing, to say the least. And now, thanks to all of Kise’s talk about sex, he’d found himself wondering whether Kagami had any energy he needed to expel…

“Maybe we should come up with a plan to make them start paying attention to us instead of their juvenile antics. This park may become a murder scene by the morning if we don’t intervene.”

  1. Stripping



“I have an idea,” Kise said. “Surely they’d notice if we started taking off our clothes in the middle of the park!”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Fine. We really only need to distract one of them. Find me a song, Kurokocchi.”

Kuroko hit shuffle on his phone’s musical library. A Blink 182 song came on, and not even one of the songs about sex! “Kurokocchi, this is no good! Don’t you have any Beyoncé or Nicki Minaj or even just any rap song? I can’t strip to this!”

“What do you usually listen to while you’re modelling? Maybe you should use that song.”

“Here, I have a playlist,” Kise said, handing over his phone. With titles like “Partition,” “I Like it Rough,” “Teeth,” and “Sexodus,” Kuroko had no idea how he was supposed to pick something. Finally, he just hit random on the playlist, and he got a song called Do I Wanna Know? It wasn’t something Kuroko would normally listen to, but he could understand why people would like it. Kise was taking off his clothes, Aomine wasn’t even looking at him, and Kise only had so many articles of clothing he could take off without getting charged for indecent exposure. So he reluctantly had to give up.

  1. Twerking



“You should twerk, Kurokocchi,” Kise tried. Before he had even finished his sentence, Kuroko had vanished into thin air, perfectly showcasing his thoughts on the matter.

  1. Jealousy



“Oh, Aominecchi, I got tired of waiting for you, so I’m going home with Kurokocchi instead. He’s going to be so good, I won’t even remember who you are afterwards.”

“I’m… what? Your feelings for me never went away, did they?”

“No, they didn’t, Kurokocchi. They’ve only gotten stronger in the 25 minutes that Aominecchi and Kagamicchi have been arguing.” Kise’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Play along with this. If we act like we’re going home with each other, they’ll stop arguing.”

“They haven’t yet.”

“Because you’re not playing along, Kurokocchi!”

“First, we need to stop fighting. We’ll be just as bad as them if we continue.”

“That’s true. You know what, this is stupid. I have another idea, but I’m going to need your misdirection to pull it off.”

  1. A direct approach



“No, I won, you fuck nugget!”

“No, I won, capital dick!”

“You’re just jealous that mine’s bigger!”

“Oh, yeah? Let’s prove it right now!”

“Kagami-kun. Stop this foolishness at once.”

“Ah! Kuroko! When did you get here?”

“I’ve always been here. Anyways, you two need to cease your foolish arguing. I wanted to go over to Kagami-kun’s apartment, but I can’t if you’re fighting.” Kuroko was blushing furiously, which made Kagami blush, too. Sure, they’d had sex a few times before, but this was the first time Kuroko had ever come out and asked for it.

“Yeah, Aominecchi. I need you to remind me why you’re the one who owns me.” Based on the way Kise raked his eyes down Aomine’s body, it was more of a physical ownership he was referring to. The two of them had a lot more experience with sex than Kagami and Kuroko did, and Aomine knew he was done after his model boyfriend pulled out tricks like that.

“So, what do you say?” Kise and Kuroko asked in unison. _Hopefully they’ll be quick, because I’ll be super tired by the time we get back,_ they thought to themselves.

“Alright, fine,” they grumbled. They looked like kids who were being called home for (a very naughty) dinner. Kise and Kuroko smiled at each other. Kuroko had to admit, even if he and Kise would never be best friends, Kise’s last plan had been pretty great.

The only hitch came as the two couples were exiting the park. Kagami and Aomine, in their eternal quest to prove that they would be forever five years old in spirit, looked back at each other and glared.

“This isn’t over,” they growled. Kise and Kuroko could only laugh.

“Yes it is, Kagami-kun.”

“I doubt either of you will even remember this tomorrow.”

Sure enough, the matter was never mentioned again.


End file.
